Consign to Oblivion
by S.Walden
Summary: Takeru accidentally ingests some of a Mushroom of Forgetfulness. This coupled with Yamato's own personal struggle can't end well. Not for the light hearted reader! Yaoi. One-sided Yamakeru, other warnings inside
1. Amusement

Consign to Oblivion

A/N: I blame having way too much time on my hands due to overnight shifts for this insane fic. I wrote the entirety of it in something like twenty cummulative hours... Yamakeru fans, enjoy. Or be wierded out. Your call.

This fic will be three chapters and probably include a Taishirou spin off. Not sure if anything will come more of this, but if there's enough support... you never know?

Warnings: Yaoi, incest, graphic rape... the usual. Also, implied Jyoumato. Obvious one-sided Yamakeru. If you squint, maybe Taito, too.

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><p>[Part One: Amusement]<p>

Gold tufts of hair glimmered between his fingers. He couldn't see the face buried in his waistline, but he could hear the familiar huff of breath that made his entire body tremble. He closed his eyes as pleasure soared through steadily, like a bucket filling with water. He could hear his own voice crying out and that was when he realized it was all a blissful dream.

Yamato shot up in the cold night air, made colder by the sweat covering his bare shoulders. His throat was dry and he scrambled to breathe through the sandpaper airways. He reached over to Takeru's bag and pulled out one of the bottles of water, downed it, and realized:

_That dream again? Fuck's wrong with me?_ He wearily buried his face in his hands. It was a struggle to sit with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands with _that_ doing _that_. He would never get back to sleep now. Tears in his eyes, he glanced over at his younger brother who was sleeping soundly close to the rock. Gabumon was keeping the boy warm, much like the railcar, especially since Yamato knew there was no way he could possibly do it himself... Tokomon wasn't too far, either, more of a pillow than a Digimon.

Yamato had finally managed to catch a breath and he wanted more than anything to just sneak away, get rid of the ache between his legs, but they were in the middle of the desert, save this tiny jutting rock that they found for shelter. There were lights in the distance and Yamato knew, somehow, he could make it one more night without sleep and then he would have all the privacy he needed.

The next morning, the older brother was surely calmed down, having convincing himself of his sick thoughts, but he was noticably tired. At first, he was glad. His _nightmares_ were gone, he figured! Hallelujah. But, no, they weren't gone... just replaced by his younger brother's pleading eyes. He shook the look from his mind as he stared out across the sand.

"Oniichan," Takeru called. "How much further?"

"Not far," he replied simply.

"Takeru, what do you think is over there?" Tokomon asked, hopping up to join them at the edge of the dune.

"Looks like a ferris wheel. Like the one in Odaiba, right Yamato?" Takeru asked.

"Yeah," Yamato replied. He avoided all contact with his brother as not to stir the unwanted feelings in him and they set out for that days hike. Ever since Taichi had disappeared and the group had disbanded from Yamato's own insanity, this was their life for the past few days. Hiking across another damn desert. Yamato had paid close attention to everyone's stamina and could pace themselves well. Still, Gabumon had taken note of the older blonde's reluctance to record his own stamina and could see him growing noticably thinner. They had been traveling without direction and Gabumon didn't need a single thing to tell him his tamer was growing weaker, physically and mentally. The Digimon had always had to deal with Yamato's reoccuring nightmares, not knowing what they were about, but something had changed lately. Leaving camp in the middle of the night, waking up and not falling asleep, eating little, and even ignoring Takeru to the point that the little boy had his shirt caught on a cactus and Yamato just stared ahead in a daze.

"Yamato, you should rest. Everyone will understand," Gabumon started, but his tamer didn't hear him. "Yamato."

_I can't turn into this. I'm better than this. I know I am. Just a little further and I'll get through this... right? Jeez, Yamato, it's not like you even know why you're really out here in the first place. You're not looking for Taichi, that's for damn sure. Bastard's dead. End of story. You didn't stay with anyone else, you only took Takeru out here into nowhere, with no destination, for yourself. Your selfish needs. That's why you're having these dreams. Maybe if I turn back, I can still catch up with Mimi... _

"Oniichan!" Takeru barked, throwing his arms into his brother's legs.

Yamato woke from his own banter and pulled away quickly, "_What_?"

"Gabumon says we should rest," the little one explained.

"No. Look, see? We're almost there," Yamato replied, marching faster now. The muscles in his legs burned, but he didn't care. At least the pain would distract him from the horrible thought of his brother under him, kicking to get free. The older sibling's stomach churned a moment and he stopped. _I can't. I just can't!_

"Yamato?" Gabumon pleaded, rushing over to him. "Come on, we're almost there just like you said. We'll get you some food and a nice place to rest, I promise. I can evolve if you want me to carry you, even."

"N-No," Yamato started. _Then Takeru will just ride behind me. _The blonde shivered at the thought and punched the dirt. No one noticed as he used the balled fist to pry himself from the ground.

They continued walking and eventually did come to a grassy area. In the distance was what could now be identified as an amusement park, to Takeru's excitement. They crossed a small bridge and entered the park. Not a soul was in sight, but when Yamato glanced around, everything was definetly operational. He had some knowledge of machines; enough to know when things like this were working or not. Then again, did the Digital World really play by those rules? They could run on children's innocence for all he knew.

"Oniichan, look, look~ Cotton candy. I want some."

"We don't know if it's safe," Yamato demanded. "We'll find something nearby. I'm sure lots of fruit grows in those trees back there. Gabumon, you and Tokomon know which ones to get right?"

Gabumon nodded. Tokomon rushed towards the trees, the small wolf Digimon following him.

Yamato spotted a bunch of tables. A food court of some kind. Beyond was a bathroom, at least. A small luxury in this Digital Hell, for sure. "T-Takeru, wait here a bit, will you?"

"Eh? Why?" he questioned.

"Bathroom," Yamato nodded, pointing across the way. Gabumon and Tokomon weren't far off, rummaging through the plants and gathering safe things.

"Oh, good, I need to go and Mom always gets mad when I pee in public."

_I'm sure she just __**hates**__ it_, Yamato thought, grinding his teeth. He was going to just let Takeru go on ahead, but his brother dragged him inside and around the corner. Takeru rushed over to a urinal happily.

Yamato turned away, finding a crack in the tile to stare at. He waited patiently, but Takeru's voice broke the silence. "I thought you had to go?"

Instinctively, Yamato turned as his brother cleaned up, getting a fairly good view of things he had only dreamt about and bit his lip. He turned away quickly, "I just can't do it with you here is all... Go find Gabumon and don't touch anything."

Takeru nodded and washed his hands, then headed outside. His stomach growled. That was when he noticed the nearby mushrooms growing behind the lavatory sign. The boy reached beyond and picked a few, stuffing them into his bag. He tore off a tiny bit and placed it in his mouth. The taste was different from normal mushrooms, but Takeru attested that to the Digital World... a place where meat could taste like banannas if it wanted to.

He wanted to eat more, but he didn't want to wait on his brother any longer. Instead, they would be a snack for later. He was sure he had eaten these before. The young boy glanced around, noticing no sign of the Digimon, but he could still hear their voices not far off, discussing something in muffled voices. He headed back into the bathroom, but stopped about halfway, feeling dizzy.

Yamato, meanwhile, was taking his few moments of quiet to try and calm himself... well, sort of. Maybe more like work himself up so he could be calm. Still, the dream had fleeted him, so things were taking longer than he wanted. He worried about Takeru in the back of his mind, but at the same time, could only think of what a beautiful being he was.

The older brother cursed as he petted over the front of his pants. He had never asked to feel this way. Hell, normally, he was more attracted to... Mimi or something... not even guys. The entire thing was confusing, guilt-ridden, and sick, but this was the only way he could fix his broken mind.

"Takeru," Yamato breathed, closing his eyes as he leaned against the wall. He could imagine the multitude of things he had dreamt about: Takeru's mouth enveloping his length in soft warmth. Yamato sliding his hand between his brother's legs, making him pant his name... "Takeru..." Yamato groaned, about ready to unzip his pants when something startled him.

The blonde opened his heavy, blue eyes and watched as Takeru stumbled in. "T-Takeru! I told you-" but before Yamato could finish his sentence, he noticed something off. "Takeru? You okay?" When his little brother just wobbled in place, it sobered the other quickly, "What happened?"

Despite obvious awkwardness, Yamato hurried to his brother. The boy had a dazed look and Yamato snapped his fingers.

"I feel... a little dizzy..."

"What happened?" Yamato questioned once more, but Takeru wouldn't answer. Then, he heard Gabumon and Tokomon outside and called for Gabumon to stay near the door. Yamato lead Takeru around the corner and told them to go get him some water and he would catch up.

Yamato cursed again after everyone had gone. Not only had he almost been caught with this horrible feeling, but he had let Takeru wander off alone. _He probably just needed something to eat. We haven't had a good meal in weeks... it's just low blood sugar or something. Nothing to worry about._

The entire thing had completely killed Yamato's mood, so he accepted defeat and went to tend to the brother he loved more than anything in the world. Outside the building, though, he stepped on something that gave a sick squish under his boot. That was when he noticed the broken stalks in the bed near him and a crushed mushroom under his feet. "I bet Gabumon picked some. Those will be good over a fire."

"No!" hissed a voice. Yamato thought he was hearing things. _Sora?_ He shook his head and reached down into the bed. "Don't!" came the voice again and Yamato stood. "Those make your memories disappear!"

"S-Sora?" Yamato questioned. He walked over to the trees and glanced about, but he saw no sign of the girl or her Digimon. He figured he was as delirious as Takeru and hoped a good meal would help him. With that, he returned to his brother and the two Digimon.

"Oh, so that's what happened... Takeru, you could have been hurt really bad!" Tokomon urged.

Yamato's eyes furrowed as he neared the table they had gathered at. "What's the matter?"

"That," Gabumon replied. There was a mushroom with a small bite taken out of it sitting on the table. "It's a dangerous mushroom that makes you lose your mind."

"I didn't mean to, Oniichan... I'm so sorry..." Takeru urged. "We haven't eaten in so long..."

Yamato smiled, "Don't worry, buddy. I saw them, too. Thought I heard a voice tell me they were bad. Must have been my guardian angel or something."

"Well, you listen to it, then," Gabumon warned. "Takeru only had a little, so it just dazed him, but the effects will last for a few hours. I think we shouldn't do anything too strenious while he recovers."

"What would a whole one do?" Takeru questioned, ever the curious little drug-o-phile.

"You would lose your memories forever," Tokomon nodded, "That's why they are the Mushrooms of Forgetfulness."

_Forgetfulness?_ Yamato wondered. _Forgetfulness... Forgetting your memories forever...?_

For the rest of the day Yamato contemplated what _forgetting_ meant to him. He fished since there was no for-sure safe food around and it kept him occupied. He managed to catch a few things and while he was there, he noted a small dock full of boats. After inspecting all of them, only a few were usable. He glanced across the lake and wondered if there would be something more suitable across, but as sunset dawned, he knew it would have to wait until morning. The blonde wrinkled his nose at the thought of waiting all night, but knew it was the best, for Takeru's sake, too. He had still been in a bit of a haze, almost like he had been given a narcotic. Still, he seemed well aware of who he was and where he was and that eased Yamato's troubled mind a little more.

When they returned to camp, they all ate dinner and discussed Yamato's plan of leaving in the morning. With the Digimon well fed, there was no reason not to risk going across, except Takeru's condition. However, he was already more lucid by the time sleep took him.

Yamato contemplated the one thought that had been on his mind all day: _Should I take the mushroom? After all, I could forget all that shit that happened to me and I wouldn't feel how I do for Takeru anymore! I could actually have a chance at being a normal human being..._

The blonde decided against it, though, considering that he would be essentially nothing but a burden to the others if he pulled such a stunt. Perhaps a little was all he needed, but it was getting late and he couldn't risk doing such a thing since he would be in too much of a daze to lead in the morning. _Perhaps, if I ever rejoin the others... then they could take care of Takeru, since I'm not fit to anyway._

They had found a small motel section of the park and an empty room. The beds weren't comfy, but they could easily fit the four of them and keep them out of the elements. Yamato took one bed and Takeru, the other. The Digimon all piled in Takeru's bed. Yamato laid his head back onto the pillow with a sigh and eventually, exhaustion overtook him.

He still had Takeru in his grasp, but this time, Yamato was kissing his brother eagerly, forcing the boy's lips apart. He groaned Takeru's name as he pried as deep as he could possibly go, pulling the younger one's head away with a hard yank to take a breath. He smiled at Takeru, who looked up at him, embarassed.

"Oniichan?" Takeru questioned with a husky breath.

Yamato licked his lips, "...yeah?"

And then he awoke again. Yamato coughed and tossed the covers from him, trying not to vomit on the floor. That was when he noticed a streak of light across the hardwood and turned. Takeru was standing in the doorway and heading outside. He didn't shut the door behind him. Yamato turned to the Digimon with a sick stomach and mumbled, "Some guard dogs you are." Then he got out of bed and followed Takeru.

"Oi, little brother," Yamato called as he followed Takeru through the park. "Hey."

Takeru didn't stop. He didn't even wander in a straight line. They circled the same spot a few times and Yamato wondered if he was sleep walking. "Takeru!" he demanded. When even that didn't work, Yamato grabbed the boy's wrist and shook him. Yamato looked into his brother's eyes and noted that same glazed look. _The mushroom hasn't worn off yet. Come on, Takeru, we need to get you back to bed. I swear to God, I'm going to kill you when we get back for even touching those damn things in the first place-_

"Oniichan," Takeru whispered. "It's cold out here."

"I'm aware. That's what happens when you wander around at night," Yamato grumbled, taking Takeru's hand in his own and starting back for the room.

"I'm scared," Takeru whispered. "I feel strange, like I'm not even here. I barely remember that I'm with my Oniichan in this strange place, in this strange world. It's like I'm not here."

"Takeru, it's just the side effect," Yamato pressed, agitated. His brother wouldn't move and stood in place, shivering in the cold of the night. "Remind me to remind you not to go anywhere near anything ever again," he snapped.

Then, Takeru embraced him, nuzzling into his waist, "Oniichan, I'm scared. I don't feel right... Make it better."

_Oh...Takeru..._ Yamato thought. He hadn't been too preoccupied with his dream as the night before, but the images were still fresh in his mind and Takeru burying his nose into Yamato's groin wasn't helping. "C-Come..." Yamato started, "Come on. We need to get back... Takeru..."

"I'm scared," he repeated, squeezing tighter.

Yamato couldn't take it anymore and pushed the boy away. The last thing he needed was his brother knowing how he felt. It hurt him to do that, but he was growing stiff and all he wanted to do was just go back to sleep and forget it.

Takeru held an arm to his face where tears were forming, "Why did you push me away?"

Yamato groaned (out of frustration, he hoped) and started back for the room, but Takeru grabbed him again, this time from behind, his hand landing casually over a very worked up older brother. A squeak escaped the older blonde at the simple brush of skin on the outside of his jeans. "T-Takeru... Let go."

"Yamato... what's the matter?" Takeru asked, feeling up and down his older sibling's length. "What's wrong with you?"

"Ah, Takeru-!" he started, reaching for the boy's hand. "Don't... it feels... nice..."

Takeru may have been a little dazed, but he knew still what 'nice' meant. Takeru had no reason to question probing further and repeated what he had been doing merely on an investigative level and listened to his older brother pant.

"T-Takeru," Yamato grunted, falling to his knees. He pushed the boy's hand away. "You can't."

"Why not... if it makes you feel better?"

"It's just... you won't understand."

"Is this why you've been acting so weird, Oniichan?" Takeru questioned.

"What?" Yamato breathed, trying to calm himself. Takeru wandered around and sat down in front of his brother as he explained:

"You've been really distant lately. Gabumon's worried and... I am, too."

"Takeru, you just can't do what you're doing, okay? I can take care of it myself."

"But you don't have to," Takeru pleaded, meeting his brother's gaze. "You said so. We're a team, right? Actually, we're more than a team, we're brothers and we do anything for each other."

Yamato whined and started to stand, but Takeru nuzzled into him again, this time able to feel exactly what was making his brother so warm against him in the cold night air.

"Just show me what I need to do to help you," Takeru said.

_You're brother is high; he's not talking right. You can't possibly._ Yamato told himself. Takeru, however, couldn't read minds and started for Yamato's zipper, pulling out the muscle underneath. Yamato watched as his sibling pulled his hand away, a white streak stretching between them.

Yamato groaned again and Takeru placed his hand around his brother, gently moving it up and down. The older blonde begged to rationalize the situation, but nothing came to him. Just a blinding pleasure. His younger brother was touching him, sort of willingly, and no matter how many times he specifically ordered his hands to push his brother away again, he couldn't as a tremble replaced the command. Yamato started breathing heavier and it didn't take long for Takeru to learn what needed to be done. He moved quicker, harder, whatever made his older brother cry out into the stale air, until finally he felt a twitch in his palm and Yamato cried out really loud, calling for Takeru. It surprised the young boy at first, but then he was hit with hot, white ropes of fluid. Takeru let go of Yamato and instinctively wiped the mess away.

Yamato shuddered and doubled over himself. He knew he needed to cry over what he had just done, but if it was because it just felt so insanely good or if he wanted to leap off of a cliff, that was the real question. Either way, he could see the sun rising in the distance and he had to get this entire thing cleaned up before the Digimon wondered where they were or what the two brother's had been doing.


	2. Amassing Debt

Consign to Oblivion

A/N: I blame having way too much time on my hands due to overnight shifts for this insane fic. I wrote the entirety of it in something like twenty cummulative hours... Yamakeru fans, enjoy. Or be wierded out. Your call.

A/N 2: I wanted to give a thanks to my lonely reviewer. It means a lot! I didn't expect to work quite so hard on this fic as I did... I do feel bad though, as embarassing as it was, it just gets worse from here. I hope you're prepared. ^_^;

Also, this is a long chapter... nearly a fic in itself at 10,500 words...! This is the bulk of the story and the conclusion will come with the final chapter!

Warnings: Yaoi, incest, graphic rape... the usual. Also, implied Jyoumato. Obvious one-sided Yamakeru. If you squint, maybe Taito, too.

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><p>Part 2: Amassing Debt<p>

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><p>In a way, Yamato was glad. Maybe now that some form of his worst nightmares had made itself real, he wouldn't have the urges anymore. They had covered the entire thing up carefully and when Takeru awoke the next morning, everyone was glad to see the effects of the mushrooms had completely left the child's system.<p>

As they gathered the last of their things, Yamato started to pack some of the less perishable fruit in Takeru's bag. That was when he saw more of the mushrooms there and wondered why Takeru was still carrying them. _I need to toss these_, Yamato figured, _But then again... If I want to forget, I doubt I'll be able to come back for them._ He glanced over to his little brother who was happily chasing Tokomon around the front of the motel. Everything was normal again...

Gabumon was waiting on the stairs and Yamato was still at the dresser. _I'll keep them... for bad Digimon. Could come in handy._ Yamato closed the bag and stepped out. "Everyone ready to go?"

"Oniichan," Takeru called, "Are we really crossing the lake?"

"Yep," the brother noted.

"Do you think we'll get a place as comfy as that motel, though?" Takeru questioned. "I slept like a rock."

"Yeah?" Yamato whispered. Then that sick voice inside him begged to ask, "All night?"

"Nn," Takeru said, rushing ahead. "Look it! Let's take the swan one!"

Yamato stopped in his tracks. _Takeru... doesn't remember anything. Thank Digi-Jesus... If he did, I wouldn't have any words to comfort him. Nothing ever worked for me, after all... It was a one time thing and I don't have to think about it anymore. Let's just cross the lake. Cross the lake, Yamato! Get in the boat and leave this stupid desert of sin behind you._

"Alright, Gabumon, help Takeru in for me," Yamato asked, then turned to Tokomon, "It's a long jump, here." The older tamer picked up the white, overgrown rabbit and climbed into the boat.

Takeru started paddling, spinning the boat. "Hey, Takeru, watch it. I haven't even sat down yet, dude."

"I didn't know it would do that," Takeru noted.

_Like last night?_ Yamato smiled to himself with a sense of accomplishment and queasiness. _Takeru, maybe next time you can see what the rest of me- Fuck._

"It's a little hazy, but I smell something in the air, like food... like curry, maybe?" Gabumon noted. "Paddle over there."

So, the boys paddled, eventually reaching a shore. There was a large forest to their left and a mountain to the right. There was a pack of hungry Digimon heading up the hill towards whatever it was Gabumon had been smelling. Everyone hopped out of the boat. "Should we follow them, Gabumon?"

"They're not violent Digimon," Gabumon pointed out with a shrug. "They just look hungry to me and to be honest, Yamato, I could use some Meat in my diet."

The blonde ignored further bad thoughts and lead his small gang up the mountain path. There, they found a tiny restaurant and a horde of Digimon. There was a long line and Yamato and Takeru struggled to see around it to the register. "I hope the food is good," Takeru said.

"H-Hey," Tokomon started, "Does that busboy look familiar to any of you guys?"

Yamato, Takeru, and Gabumon turned. "It's a Gomamon."

"It's Jyou's Gomamon!" Tokomon cried.

"Jyou-san?" Takeru questioned.

"Jyou..." Yamato whispered.

"Gomamon!" called Gabumon, waddling over. "Hey."

Gomamon smiled for the first time in weeks. "Yamato and Takeru... Tokomon! Thank goodness... Jyou will be so glad to see you."

Yamato shrugged, "Where is he anyway, washing dishes?"

Gomamon stared at the ground and Yamato realized his joke wasn't funny. The tiny seal lead them to the back of the restaurant where Jyou was slaving over a hot stove. Well, make that four stoves, two sinks, a fridge, a walk-in freezer, and no counter space.

"Y-Yamato!" Jyou cried. "Takeru!"

"Hey," Yamato greeted, placing a hand on Takeru's shoulder blades to make sure he stayed near. There were knives, hot ovens, and all sorts of shit his little brother could get into.

"It's so good to see you," Jyou replied, looking between the four of them. Gomamon sighed and hurried out the floor. Gabumon and Tokomon offered to help and went with him. "I can't really talk right now, though."

"What are you doing back here?" Yamato questioned anyway.

"Well, to make it short: I'm paying a debt to this restaraunt's owner," Jyou sighed.

Takeru fidgeted, "It's too hot back here."

"How much longer do you have to be here?" the older one questioned, ignoring Takeru.

Jyou stirred the stew in front of him, "I'm... not sure, actually."

"Not sure?!" Yamato snapped.

"I-I havent' really had time to keep track," Jyou whispered. "I mean, I've been here a month now."

"Keep track? A month?!" the older blonde huffed. "Where is this loser that owns this place? I'll talk to him for you."

"Really?" Jyou whispered, "He's upstairs..."

"Watch Takeru for me?" Yamato questioned. Jyou nodded and Yamato headed outside and looked for the stairs. Around the corner he headed up and gave a hard knock on the door.

Jyou watched as Takeru found a spoon and a fork and played on the stool in the corner. Then, he noticed the stew trying to burn and went back to stirring. Around this time a large yellow plant named Vegiemon entered, slamming the door back, scaring Takeru half to death. He dropped the cutlery and Jyou cringed. "Hey, I heard talking! Where is that food?"

"Right here!" Jyou cried, handing Vegiemon the food.

Vegiemon tasted it, gave a sneer, and glanced at Takeru. "What's that?"

"That's Takeru, a friend of mine," Jyou explained. "His brother is here, too."

"Well, don't get in the way or get to work," Vegiemon remarked, his horrible breath lingering towards Takeru. He took the plate of food out to the dining room.

"That went rather well," Jyou commented nervously. "Usually he's throwing plates and yelling about the books."

Takeru nodded. "I hope Oniichan fixes everything."

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><p>Yamato gave a knock on the door once more and finally a cranky voice called, "What do you want?!"<p>

"Yo, I need to talk to you!" Yamato barked through the door, not bothering with pleasantries. He turned the knob but it was locked. Then he heard a steady thump of heavy feet and the door unlocked. When it opened, a large, egg shaped Digimon stood there. He had glowing eyes through a large crack in the front and two big, green feet. "Um, hi."

"What is it, human?"

"My friend downstairs, can he go?"

"Eh? No. He has a debt to pay," Digitamamon muttered and started to shut the door. Yamato stuffed his foot forward and stopped it.

"Look, he's been here a few months now. I think he's worked enough."

"_No_," Digitamamon sneered. "Of course, if you stay and help him, I guess things would go faster."

"...stay and help?" Yamato repeated. "I guess so..."

"Hey, Digitamamon!" called a voice behind Yamato. Vegiemon. "There's some humans here-"

"Ah, yes, they are going to stay and help their little friend," Digitamamon explained. "Now, make sure they do as their told."

Vegiemon nodded and snaked a tendril around Yamato's arm, pulling the blonde down the stairs and back into the kitchen. Yamato struggled against him- the last thing he liked was being held down.

"Oniichan! Hey, let him go!" Takeru demanded, throwing his fists at the yellow blob.

Vegiemon let him go and tossed him at Jyou, knocking the two boys down.

"Jyou-san!" Takeru cried.

"You three will work and pay off the debt," Vegiemon explained. "You will work as long as needed, no overtime, you'll come when called, and if you try and leave... well, I just _wouldn't_ try to leave. Now, go grab an apron and get to work!"

The vegetable left in a hurry to tend to the dining hall full of hungry Digimon. Yamato sat up, looking over at Jyou behind him. "Are you alright?"

"...yeah, I'm used to falling over," Jyou sighed, standing up. "What about you?"

"I'm staying to help you," Yamato stated proudly, walking over to the stove. _It's not like I can very well leave you here. Once I help you, then you can go back to looking for Taichi's corpse and I can go back to... well, I'm not sure about that. Originally, I wanted to live here in the Digital World with Takeru forever... because he would be safe. Safe. __**Safe**__. What a joke. _Yamato clutched his stomach.

"I... Thank you," Jyou said, tears welling in his eyes. "I promise Takeru won't have to work much and... and..."

"Jyou, don't have a heart attack," Yamato breathed, "Look, it's fine. I had nothing better to do after I stormed off from all of you."

Jyou smiled, starting the next batch of stew. "Well, we did leave you first."

"I don't know why you're all so damn determined to find Taichi," Yamato muttered, not too loud so as to keep his words from Takeru.

"I wasn't, to be honest. I mean, all he does is agitate every Digimon we run into and... well, me."

"Everyone's like 'Taichi's a good leader, let's go find him'. Fuck, it's like I wasn't even trying when he left," Yamato sighed. "Guess I need to don a pair of goggles to fucking get anyone's attention."

Jyou counted each curse as Yamato said it. Something was definetly agitating the blonde more than ever. Jyou had first noticed it after Taichi's disappearance and this strange anger in the other had only festered with time alone.

"I think you're a wonderful leader, Oniichan," Takeru piped, giving his brother a hug. Yamato inched away. "Jyou-san, how can I help?"

"Well, Takeru, can you go fetch some more gloves from the storage?" Jyou asked.

"Sure!" the boy cried, rushing outside. The door clanked behind him.

Jyou watched as Yamato's eyes followed the boy as he darted across the grass. A weak smile appeared on his face. "So, what's it like being able to spend quality time with your brother?"

"Hmm?" the blonde questioned. He immediately turned away his gaze and started looking for a knife to cut the potatoes.

Jyou handed him one, "Well, my brothers and I don't even talk. You and Takeru get along so well... I just wondered how nice that would be, to always have someone like that."

Yamato cringed at his friend's words. _I..._ "W-Well, it's not like I'm used to it. Before this, we hadn't seen each other much." _I'm starting to wish it had stayed that way._

"Right," Jyou replied. "Didn't mean to bring it up..."

"No, don't take it like that," Yamato pleaded as Takeru started rushing back across the yard. "Just be grateful you don't have to deal with it." The blonde gave a slight chuckle and brought the knife down on the potato. "...what's your family like?"

Jyou chuckled, "My Dad's making me be something I don't wanna be."

_Something you don't want to be. I totally get that..._ Yamato thought, watching Takeru enter the kitchen. He handed the gloves to Jyou and then gave Takeru other simple tasks to do. Usually, Takeru didn't like being treated so childish, but Jyou didn't talk down to him at all. It was just the simple chores and Takeru didn't mind being a help to everyone.

"What do you mean?" Yamato asked finally, erasing his own thoughts on the situation.

"Making me become a doctor," Jyou sighed, "I don't mind the profession itself, it's just... not what I want to be. It's what my family wants. I don't really know what I want to be, except maybe a good husband for some guy someday, but that will never happen..."

_A husband for some __**guy**__?_ Yamato questioned. _I didn't know Jyou was gay. Still, that's a sweet dream. I don't care what I am as long as I don't put my kids through what I've been through. What I've done to Takeru..._ Yamato's hand began to shake and Jyou glanced over, raising an eyebrow. _How can I even trust myself with my own children someday? _Yamato dropped the spoon into the pot and gripped the counter, doing his best not to yak all over the counter.

"Yamato, you seem pretty sick. I didn't want to say anything before but...," Jyou started, making sure Takeru was out of earshot, "But you don't look well at all."

The blonde knew he didn't look well. _You wouldn't either after what I've done_. He didn't need to be told by a _future doctor_ or whatever. "I can take care of myself. I'll know if I'm sick." Yamato tried to tell himself this more than Jyou.

Jyou seemed to have hit another nerve and most of the remainder of the shift was silent outside yelling from Vegiemon or questions from Takeru about where things were. Night fell quickly, but they continued to work, hand washing the dishes. Takeru fell asleep against Yamato's ankle, which he only noticed because his foot was going to sleep.

He made an agitated sigh.

"That's really cute," Jyou replied. "He worked hard today. I'm proud of him. Aren't you?"

"Yeah, dandy," Yamato remarked, nearly breaking the next plate he set down. He reached up to rub his tired eyes and quickly took the next plate from Jyou's hand. "Fuck, I'm exhausted."

"Me, too," Jyou noted. "The sad thing is, Gomamon usually finishes his work much later than me. I don't know how he does it."

Yamato was a bit worried. Although all the feelings had left him after the events of the night before, the fears that they would come back, that suddenly he wouldn't feel right near his brother again, still trickled in the base of his stomach somewhere.

Jyou watched the blonde scrub the plate dry with a towel for a solid two minutes before saying anything, "Hey, guess you're more tired than you look. You look like a train wreck."

"Get it from my Dad," Yamato muttered, still drying the plate. "Hey, uh... Jyou?"

"Mm?" the other replied, scrubbing away at a fork with some undecipherable goo stuck to it. _What Digimon ate with this thing?!_

"Do you ever have unwanted feelings?" the blonde questioned. "Like, you know something is wrong, but you feel that way anyway?"

"You mean my entire life's soliloquy?" Jyou questioned. Yamato wasn't sure what he meant. "I never feel right. I'm always worrying about things. Things that don't even matter, like the fact that that clock is about thirty seconds off from my watch or if the sun will come up tomorrow. Stupid, right?"

"...ah," Yamato gave a nod, finally setting the plate beside him in the stack.

"Why? Do you?" Jyou asked, inevitably.

Yamato should have expected that, but he wasn't sure how to explain that he had... those feelings for his brother. He was worried more than ever now that it was just the childlike form he was attracted to, but Jyou gave him hope that it was something more. That he was attracted to males in general and Takeru just happened to be in the way. "How did you know you were gay?" the blonde deflected.

"Uh, well," Jyou adjusted his glasses, looking outside at the moon. "It's stupidly simple... I just noticed guys more."

"Really?" Yamato asked.

Jyou noticed a somewhat relieved sound in the boy's voice, "Yeah, that was it!"

"...that's good to know," Yamato replied.

As Jyou finished the last of the plates, he wondered, _Yamato, save when he first got here and I got on his every last nerve, has been fairly kind to me. We've even had deep conversations on the tiny occasion no one was looking. Up until now, I blamed myself for just finding him attractive, but what if it's more than just physically? What if we have some deeper connection? What if I... well... what if I love him? Oh, Digi-Jesus, what if he loves me? All this talk about unwanted feelings and acceptance... and he didn't raise a fuss when I said I was attracted to men..._ Jyou would have sweat if he wasn't already dirty from a day's work. He set down the last plate with a smile, "That's the last one."

"Where are we sleeping?" Yamato questioned, not having considered the arrangements before. The place didn't have any kind of extra room.

Jyou lead the brothers outside and towards a small, circular appendage of the building: the boiler room. The place was barely big enough for two people, let alone three people and three Digimon. The entire space was about eight feet wide and twice as long. The boiler took up most of the space alongside some other random junk. There was one window on what was, essentially, Jyou's side of the room. "It's not much... but we'll manage."

Yamato glanced over at his younger brother, to Jyou, and to the floor. Jyou moved the one futon longways so the three could share some small slice of comfort between them and then laid down closest to the door, almost as if being a watchdog for them. Yamato sighed and fidgeted as Takeru brushed past him and flopped on the farthest side... leaving the awkward one in the middle.

"Trust me, the quicker you get to sleep the better. Digitamamon opens the second a customer shows up... no matter what the time," Jyou explained, removing his glasses and setting them aside. Yamato laid down in the middle and pulled the cover over him, staring at the ceiling. Jyou rolled onto his left side where it was most comfortable. He could see the blur of yellow and green that was Yamato next to him. Takeru was already sleeping soundly, Tokomon curled up next to him.

After awhile, Jyou felt his eyes growing heavy, but he couldn't sleep. Not until he was sure Yamato was getting his rest. "Hey," he breathed.

"What?" the blonde questioned flatly.

Jyou met Yamato's eyes with his own, "Yamato, do you like guys, too?"

The blonde blushed deeply. "I, I guess so."

"Would you... well... would you be offended if I said I was attracted to you?"

Yamato cringed. _Jyou... thinks I'm...? He can't. I'm damaged, used, sick-!_ "I'm not... mad."

"Yamato," Jyou whispered, gently moving closer. He pressed his lips against Yamato's and the blonde responded with the flicker of his tongue. Jyou groaned and Yamato was amazed. It did feel good. Maybe there was some hope for him yet out of this entire mess with Takeru. _Which you need to forget, Yamato,_ he lectured himself.

Jyou tossed aside the blonde's tank top and started kissing the bare, salty skin. Yamato breathed at the other's touch as hands ran across his body.

"J-Jyou, Takeru's right there."

"S-Sorry," he paused. "I just... I've always loved you, Yamato."

The blonde blushed in the dark. _I've heard that before._ "Look... I..."

Jyou casually took Yamato's hand and let him outside. The moon was thin, barely giving enough light to see. If they were caught, who knows what trouble they would get into or the reasoning behind it. Jyou nervously pulled the blonde close to him again and wrapped him in a kiss once more.

Yamato didn't mind the entire ordeal and at first he was really glad Jyou had the courage to admit how he felt. But still, that seemed to be all Yamato could feel. His mind tossed with flashes from his nightmares and he tried to block them out. As Jyou massaged lower, the blonde cringed. He felt nothing.

He felt completely horrible, unable to respond to Jyou in any form. Yamato mentally reminded himself what a failure he was and he froze up, only able to feel his mother's touch, his mother's kiss. Only able to see how he was turning into her with Takeru. Unwillingly, Yamato thought of him and felt a stirring in him. He coughed to shake the thought away and focused back towards Jyou.

The boy was surprsingly beautiful underneath the guise of that attire and Yamato had a feeling he wore the things out of habit rather than comfort or personal style. Yamato, frustrated that Jyou's touch was doing nothing, shoved the other boy down into the grass and climbed on him. Jyou let out a sound as the air was knocked out of him and his glasses fell a few feet away.

"Yamato... is everything okay? I don't want to pressure you."

"It's _fine_," the blonde seethed, taking a hand to the other's throat. Jyou gasped, but Yamato was confused on whether this was good or not. Jyou was smiling, so he squeezed tighter, but something in the back of his mind told him to stop and he let go.

"It's... It's fine," Jyou breathed with a smile. "Yamato, it's okay."

"No... it's not..." the blonde started. He was attracted to Jyou. Jyou was a wonderful, loving person. Jyou was a male. But Yamato couldn't... he just couldn't feel what he had been feeling for Takeru towards Jyou. _What's wrong with me... What if I am like her?_ If he had never had sex with Takeru, then would things have been different? Yamato tried to hold back tears. _I can be normal. I'm thinking too much, I know it. I know this isn't me._

"Yamato, what's wrong?"

"Jyou, I can't do this. I'm sorry."

"Yamato?" Jyou questioned as the boy stormed off towards the woods. Jyou sat up and curled up to himself. _Oh, God, Jyou... you pushed him too much. He... he shut down. Great job, Kido. Don't follow him... you've done enough damage._

* * *

><p>Yamato leaned back against a tree and listened as Jyou went back inside. He began to sob uncontrollably and fell into a pile at the base of the trunk, shivering and helpless. <em>I've probably hurt Jyou more than I'll ever know... he'll never love me now that I couldn't even... What kind of man am I? Sick and pathetic, only attracted to his own flesh and blood...<em> Yamato managed a chuckle between sniffles and finally managed to regain his composure. He waited, unable to sleep, until dawn broke. He could hear Vegiemon calling for them and Yamato figured he better at least get back and find his shirt that Jyou had tossed off somewhere.

He stepped inside once the coast was clear. Jyou and Takeru were both putting on their aprons.

"Oniichan, where is your shirt?"

The blonde glared daggers at Jyou, who looked around frantically for the shirt and tossed it to him. As Yamato caught it, he made up an excuse, "It was too warm near that boiler. I slept just outside the door."

"Next time tell me, Yamato. It's not safe outside," Gabumon urged.

"Sorry, buddy," he replied.

"Well, we better hurry before that yellow turnip gets the idea to add a tardy tax," Jyou smiled, giving Yamato a gentle pat on the shoulder as he and Takeru left. Yamato slipped on his shirt and stared at the vacant space he had left. _No one would notice,_ he thought. _If that space was never filled again._

* * *

><p>The morning was slow and Yamato tried to ignore as Jyou avoided making his attempts at finding out his friend's sanity inconspicuous. Finally, when business picked up, Takeru was ushered out onto the floor, leaving the two men alone.<p>

Jyou jumped at the chance, "I can't just leave us like this."

"Just drop it, Jyou," the blonde replied.

"I want to know what I did wrong so I can fix it. You never tell us anything and just leave us all in the dark," Jyou retorted. He probably was a little more snippy than usual, but the love of his life was hurting and he didn't know what else to do.

"Jyou... I really like you, okay? It's not you. This has nothing to do with you."

"Then... is it someone else?"

Yamato clenched his teeth and glanced back towards the swinging doors that Takeru had exited out of. Jyou took this as a sign, "Is that why you were so upset about Taichi?"

The blonde's blue eyes burned cold, "_What_?"

Jyou stepped back visibly. "I'm not trying to overstep my boundries, Yamato, but I'm sure he's out there and if you want to be happy with him, I'm okay with that..."

Yamato clenched his fists. "This has nothing to do with that bastard either!"

"I'm sorry," Jyou pleaded, placing a hand on Yamato's delicately, but his love pulled away with a squeak and watched as Takeru came back through the door, carrying a large platter bigger than he was. Yamato snatched the boy's hand, "Come on, we're leaving."

"But, what about Jyou-san?" Takeru questioned, trying not to trip as he was forced out the door. He looked back to Jyou who wasn't looking back at them. "What about the Digimon?"

Yamato didn't answer. He just dragged Takeru further into the forest until they couldn't see the diner anymore. Then, Takeru pulled away. "Oniichan, you're not answering me. What's going on?"

"N-nothing," Yamato hissed. _Nothing works._ He glared at Takeru and frustratingly demanded, "_Why?_"

"Huh?" Takeru questioned as his brother approached him.

Yamato grabbed his brother by both arms, "Why do I feel this way about you? Why can't I feel this for Jyou instead?!"

Takeru tossed his head, confused. "You're scaring me... and you're hurting my arms..." Takeru felt as his feet stumbled back until he hit a tree. The bark dug into his spine and caught on his clothes. His older brother continued to hold him down despite what he was saying. "Oniichan!" Takeru remarked, growing angry.

"Shut up," Yamato remarked, raising his hand to strike the boy. Takeru used the chance to pull his other arm free, but Yamato grabbed him and tossed Takeru to the ground.

Takeru landed hard and his hat landed somewhere in the brush. Suddenly, Yamato was on top of him and he knew he couldn't break loose now. "Oniichan...?"

"Just make this go away. Make me feel better," Yamato demanded. "Like you did before... so I can show Jyou I don't hate him!"

"I don't understand-" the younger sibling started, feeling tears fall onto his face. His brother's tears. "What's wrong? Please tell me."

"Takeru," Yamato said, grabbing his little brother's wrists and leaning over him. He leaned in closer still for a kiss and Takeru obliged, mostly because he wasn't sure what was going on and he just wanted his brother to stop acting so scary. Takeru knew that kisses meant you loved someone, but this wasn't a peck on the cheek... he didn't know what this was. His brother's tongue felt strange and hot inside him, but at the same time, Takeru felt good. He didn't know what to think. Finally, Yamato broke free, catching a breath.

Niether brother said anything, they just looked into each other's eyes for a few moments. Then, Yamato started slipping off Takeru's shirt... The younger one, still confused, wanted to know what was going on, but couldn't bring himself to ask. His big brother wouldn't hurt him, right? Anything his big brother did was because he loved him, so whatever this strange event was had to be a good thing. But then, why did Takeru's heart feel stomped on as Yamato forced his younger brother's wrists into the soft soil? Takeru cried out, but this only made his older brother act more... what was this? Furious?

Unknown to the younger sibling, Yamato had experienced all these same waves of emotion before, now buried under years of hate and loathing.

Yamato groaned, taking his tongue along Takeru's ear, his cheek and neck, then down to one of the younger blonde's nipples and biting down.

Takeru didn't want to cry out and make his brother cause him more pain, but usually when he cried out Yamato came to his rescue, so why did these screams make his protector bite, growl, and push against him? "Oniichan...?" Takeru started finally, but something hot and hard forcing itself against him cut him off.

"Takeru... Takeru," Yamato whispered into the boy's ear, pushing against him.

"...Yamato..." the boy underneath whispered unsurely.

"I really do love you," Yamato whispered back.

Yamato smiled and lifted his own body so he was sitting upright. Takeru glanced down at the strange form between his own legs. Whatever it was felt good to him and he let out a cry as Yamato lowered one hand down to him and patted gently. "Everything will feel good, okay?"

Takeru squirmed under him and Yamato couldn't take it much longer. Yet, at the same time, he never wanted to bring himself to do this again. Maybe if he let Takeru enjoy this, then the guilt wouldn't hurt so much. Yamato unzipped Takeru and held the young cock in his hand, then lowered his head.

Takeru was overwhelmed with a mix of fear and pleasure as heat swirled around his loins. He stared up at the treetops, into the darkening sky. The air was so still that their voices didn't carry, but hung and lingered in their ears. Takeru hadn't realized he was barely breathing and Yamato was taking all of him into his mouth. "Oniichan... is this what I'm-" he tried to form the question as to why his brother would possibly put his mouth on him in such a way, but Takeru stopped as his body jerked. He could feel something inside him rising, almost like he had to pee, but clearly different. He made a small noise as he began to sweat and he gave up struggling. "What are you doing...?"

Yamato hungrily took all of Takeru down into the back of his throat and groaned at the lovely noises his brother was making. He had his hands on the boy's hips, nails digging into Takeru's skin as he made himself go faster. He knew his little brother was close and the twitching heat between his own thighs was confirmation of that.

"Onii..." Takeru gasped into what became a scream, as if he had been kicked in the face. He even felt dizzy as pleasure poured through him. He coughed and tossed under his brother's weight and as Yamato insisted on tracing Takeru's sensitivity with his tongue, Takeru whined incessantly. He shoved both hands at his brother, trying to force him away, but Yamato kept on past the other's orgasm, making sure to get all of him in the indefinite chance that he would never get that chance again.

Yamato enjoyed his brother's taste more than he expected, more than he wanted, so much so he couldn't leave. Takeru kicked this time and tried to beat his brother away with tiny fists, but before Takeru could comprehend what was happening, that weird feeling welled up in him again. "Oniichan," he pleaded quickly, "Stop..."

Yamato lifted his mouth from his little brother, stopping inches above Takeru's cock and glancing up at him as if asking 'Why?'. A trail of white still joined Yamato's lips with Takeru, who glanced down to see. He felt his cheeks grow hot. Yamato smiled at the boy's embarassment and licked his lips, "Doesn't this feel good?"

"...yeah, but... I don't like it, Yamato. Get off me." The way the boy spoke was more of a suggestion than a demand...

"No," Yamato ordered, glaring at Takeru and shoved the boy's hips down into the earth.

Takeru whimpered and looked around. Maybe he could cry out for someone, but who would be looking for them in the middle of the woods behind a restaurant at the top of a cliff? Could this predicament get anymore secluded? Takeru felt tears well in his eyes as the fear outweighed the pleasure that Yamato was giving him. Still, his damn body reacted. He could feel every early drop escape him and it only drove his brother further until Takeru's body shook with esctasy again.

This time, Yamato wasn't going to stick around giving his brother all the fun. Instead he tossed the boy by his hips onto his back, and Yamato, on his knees, removed the throbbing member in his jeans from against his stomach. He pulled Takeru's pants down to his ankles and when Takeru tried to run, Yamato slammed him towards the tree. Takeru was held down by his elbows which were pressing into the sharp bark. "Don't go," he pleaded in a whisper. "Would you abandon me?"

Takeru felt the area just above his eyebrow begin to sting and hot liquid began to pool there. His tears were uncontrollable now and he pleaded between hiccups and sobs for Yamato to stop, but the older brother couldn't, no matter how much he really wanted to. The primal urge inside him drove him and he couldn't fight it.

"Takeru, calm down," Yamato hissed, spreading his sibling open. He smiled at the sight of his brother's young skin and contemplated teasing the inviting entrance at first, but he didn't want to wait. He forced himself against his brother's backside, probing further. "Relax, okay? I won't hurt you. I promise... I'd never hurt you."

Takeru wasn't sure to believe him after all that had happened in the last ten minutes that had slowly turned into a nightmare of eternities. "Oniichan, no. I don't-"

Yamato slammed the boy into the tree again, but this time not with his hands, but with his girth. A sick groan escaped the older brother, then a gasp as he pulled away a little and forced himself deeper again. With nothing around to ease the friction...

Takeru cried more and he couldn't breathe between his sobs that had changed from fear to pain. He screamed each time Yamato forced himself in again. If Takeru had felt confused before, now things were a million times worse. Not only was his big brother hurting him, but he sounded... happy even? Was it laughter, or something else in his brother's voice as Yamato buried his face into his sibling's shoulder?

"Takeru, you're so tight," Yamato huffed, bucking forward. "It's really nice... I'm sorry if it hurts... but it feels good...!"

_Sorry?_ Takeru thought, crying out again as all of his older brother filled him, hitting something strange inside him. That feeling of heat soared through him and Takeru found whatever had happened before was happening again, except even more intensely. He drooled against the tree as Yamato thrusted into him. The pain was numbness now and Takeru reflected weakly on his change of emotions over the course of the afternoon. His brother had gone from a guardian to a monster. Then, that spot inside him lit up and Takeru watched half-lidded as his seed covered the trunk in front of him. Takeru thought for a blissful moment that was the end, but Yamato was making strange sounds in his ears and holding down Takeru's hands and forcing himself so deep... again and again.

"It hurts-" Takeru pleaded.

"Takeru..." his brother growled, finally getting the release he had wanted for so long. Yamato made a sound as if he were in pain and Takeru's legs turned to jelly as his brother came.

Takeru whined as his insides grew hot. What had Yamato done to him? He could feel his brother inside him, moving like some kind of reptile ready to hatch as even more of the strange heat filled him, then forced its way out and down Takeru's thighs. "Takeru..." his brother whispered, nuzzling into the back of his head, "Takeru... Thank you..."

The little brother fell to the ground, his lover sliding out of him. He scrambled across the dirt, slowly standing and pulling his shorts back up around his waist. He rushed back through the woods, but he fell. The pain was too great and he was sure he was bleeding not only blood, but whatever his brother had injected into him as well. He sat on his knees where he tripped seconds ago and just cried silently.

Yamato stared at the spot where it had happened for a moment, not registering that his brother had run. _I feel... so much better..._ he thought. _This is... what I am after all, it seems... _

His mind swam from loss of blood to his loins when he stood and he gathered Takeru's shirt and hat. The afterglow of the dream he had forced into existence was fading quickly. He would wake up and admit he had raped his younger brother. Worse, Takeru wasn't like him. He wouldn't wait two years to finally bring it up. With any luck, Yamato was a dead man by the time he got back to Jyou. But he could officially accept whatever came to him and walked back towards the restaurant.

Along the way, he strangely remembered the mushrooms in Takeru's pack. If he hurried, he may not only be able to save his own pride, but protect Takeru from reliving what Yamato had already lived through...

Takeru was crying in a heap not too far from the storage shed. Yamato felt his heart sink. "T-Takeru... I didn't hurt you...? Did I?"

"Oniichan," Takeru cried, wiping the tears from his eyes. He huddled into the grass, trying to cover the lower half of himself with his arms. He sniffled, "Everything hurts..." The young boy had caught a glimpse of his brother's face, almost lost in some sort of daze. The scary, lust filled monster was gone and he could hear the concerned, possessive older brother again.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." Yamato breathed, walking over to him, brushing back his blonde locks of hair. Takeru swatted at him, but Yamato insisted still and at the risk of being raped again, Takeru didn't dare piss off Yamato. After all, he had to have done something really wrong for this to happen... Was it the mushrooms he had eaten? Yes. Yamato was still angry about that. This was just a one-time punishment. Yamato placed Takeru's hat onto his matted hair, noticing the tiny cuts from where he had slammed him into the tree. Yamato used spit and the ends of his shirt to wipe them clean and Takeru stood there, motionless the entire time.

"What did you do...?" Takeru whispered finally. "I feel so strange... I don't feel right, Oniichan. Why would you make me feel like this?!" The boy screamed. His throat was hoarse from pleading and crying. His nose was red from rubbing it dry. His eyes were soulless. "What did I do?!"

"You won't remember it anyway, so it won't matter," Yamato whispered, pulling his brother next to him. "...and you're not in trouble. No, you're being the best little brother you could be." He kissed him on the forehead. _I can't let you live with this... I know I did this to you, but I can undo it. As much of me that loves filling you with poison, the rest of me just wants you safe. Takeru, I could protect you from anything, but not myself..._

"...I won't remember?" Takeru questioned, trying to wriggle away. "I don't understand anything!"

"You won't have to," the older brother smiled and lead him back to the boiler room.

* * *

><p>"Digi-Jesus..." Jyou breathed, looking the boy over.<p>

"Can you help him, Jyou?" Yamato pleaded.

"What's wrong with Takeru?!" cried Tokomon, running in circles around the boy's feet.

"...Jyou, if I hadn't gotten angry and left, we wouldn't have gotten seperated... this would've never happened-!" Yamato said, forcing tears for the first time in his life.

"You said evil Digimon attacked you?" Gabumon questioned, raising a paw to his chin.

The future doctor glanced into Takeru's eyes and examined the cuts across his skin. He noted the bruises on the boy's arms and legs... very out of the ordinary. "Why would they hold him down? These almost look..."

Yamato tugged Takeru towards him into a tight hug. "Please, Jyou. He'll be okay, right?"

"Um, well, yes, after some rest and a few days to heal..." Jyou explained. "I don't know how well that will work with Manager Vegiemon around."

"Dinner's ready," Gomamon said, popping his head into the room. "Eh? What's wrong with Takeru?"

"He was attacked in the forest, but he'll be okay," Jyou replied. "Come on, kiddo, let's get you something to eat."

Takeru nodded, "Who... are you?"

Jyou glanced down at him and back to Yamato. Takeru seemed dazed and Yamato was staring out the window with _that look_ that Jyou hated. The one that he knew meant Yamato had too much on his mind. "Yamato... Takeru doesn't know me..."

"He must have hit his head," the blonde said with a smile. One that sent chills over Jyou's body.

They all filed into the dining room to eat. Things were fairly quiet, but that couldn't be helped at a table of introverts and worried Digimon.

"Yamato... what am I doing here?" Takeru questioned suddenly, looking up from his dinner. Yamato glanced up, but just resumed eating. "Oniichan?"

"We're having dinner," the older brother replied, "Remember, we're helping Jyou."

"I guess I forgot," Takeru noted, staring down at his soup.

"Is it the mu-" Gabumon started, but Yamato cut him off.

"You worked hard today, standing up for yourself. It can't be helped," Yamato explained. "After a good night's sleep, you'll feel better."

"Yamato..." Jyou started. "I'm glad you came back. I guess you didn't have a choice, since Takeru was attacked, but still... I don't want you to be mad... for last night and all."

"You should have gotten me, Yamato," Gabumon lectured, looking at Takeru with unease. "How could you be... so wreckless? This is like something Taichi would do."

The blonde snorted, "Whatever."

"Yamato," Gabumon pushed.

The tamer pressed his shoe into Gabumon's tail, hard. The Digimon whimpered, catching looks from Jyou and Gomamon to which he coughed and gave a smile. Takeru stared blankly into his dinner, as if trying very hard to recall what had happened. Gabumon didn't dare glance up at Yamato, because he could feel something very strange about his tamer and he didn't want to know what it was just yet. Not in front of everyone.

"We all make mistakes," Jyou added, forgivingly. "Takeru will be fine after some rest. Still..." Jyou had noted the boy's odd walk, yet there was no sign of injury to his legs, save some minor bruising. Even Jyou himself hadn't experienced injuries like that and he had experience with that sort of thing. No, only one thing caused Takeru to limp so oddly. Takeru's face looked like it had been sent through a car window. Jyou secretly had to agree with Gabumon. There was no way Yamato would let something so horrible happen, especially since Yamato had no scratches on him. Something odd was up, for sure, but Jyou couldn't place it. Or admit it.

That night, Yamato huddled Takeru close to him and Jyou hoped that was a sign things were getting better. Ever since Taichi had left, he noticed the two had been oddly distant. Jyou removed his glasses and hoped a good night's sleep would clear everyone's heads.

So, for a few more days, things seemed to get better. Well, save Digitamamon's slave-driving and the increase of accidents, all which only Jyou seemed to be causing. Takeru had his share of stumbles, especially with the way he limped around, but nothing as random as what Jyou was experiencing, almost like a ghost was haunting them.

Finally came time for their lunch break. The three humans gathered out back and sat in the grass. Takeru kept glancing over at the woods, as if seeing something. However, Jyou noticed the boy's memory was growing worse. He had even forgotten Tokomon's name a few times. Speaking of, Tokomon was worried more with each passing second and stayed up all night watching over the boy. Something was troubling Takeru, but no prying would delve it from him and he would simply remark that he couldn't remember.

"Takeru, finish your food," Yamato ordered, also making his younger brother sit up straight. Only Yamato noted the specs of orange in the meal.

Takeru smiled weakly and nodded.

"Don't push him so hard," Jyou stressed. He set his food down, "Yamato. Can I talk to you over there a second?"

"Sure, Jyou," the blonde replied and the two met a few feet away. Yamato was a little nervous as he waited for the boy to say something, anything. _Takeru's fine, Jyou. He's just tired and that attack took so much out of him... not to mention he's been slowly forgetting all the horrible things I've ever done to him. Now I can live with this burden alone... if we pay off this damn debt and go already._

"I didn't say anything at first because I know that the monster attack the other day was probably pretty bad for you. I know you can't stand to see yourself fail Takeru, but come on... you need to eat, too."

Yamato smiled. _Oh, that was all. _"Sorry, Jyou-" he said, walking away, "I'll try to eat more." But then Jyou grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back.

"What is wrong with you, Ishida?" Jyou pressed, looking into the boy's deep blue eyes. "What else happened? I'm not an idiot."

"W-Well," Yamato started, glancing back at Takeru. "He... needs space."

"Huh?"

"Takeru said he wanted space. I mean... I don't want to see him hurt. He's my... precious little brother... and..." Yamato tried not to think of the way Takeru sounded each time he came, but the cries echoed in his mind. "Um... it's just..."

"Yamato?"

"It's just that's why Takeru ran ahead of me. I didn't get to him in time and you're blaming me, Jyou? I feel bad enough as it is!"

"I'm concerned about him and that's not what you said before. I know a liar. I was raised by one."

"Look, it's none of your business, alright!?" the blonde snapped, shaking his head. "So stay out of my personal life..."

Jyou shrunk back as the blonde stormed away suddenly. _Yamato...?_

Gomamon waddled up, easing into Jyou's leg like a cat, "What was that about?"

"...Gomamon, don't tell anyone, but... those bruises on Takeru's arm aren't Digimon, they're human. I know the difference. Something's going on."

The seal made an unsure noise. "What do we do?"

"I... I don't know yet, Gomamon..." Jyou replied, "But... keep an eye on Takeru, would you?"

* * *

><p>Yamato stripped himself of his clothes and climbed into the lake. He glanced back at his little brother and the two sleeping Digimon on the shore. "Come on, before it gets too dark out."<p>

Takeru fidgeted one toe in the dirt, but reluctantly joined his older brother. Almost immediately, Yamato swam over to him and pulled Takeru further out. Yamato breathed in the boy's ear, giving a trace with his tongue. He had tried to fight the memories of the last few days over and over, but for Yamato, they brought happiness to a sorrow-filled life he was living and no matter the pain he was causing, he didn't want to give that up. He dwelled on them until the pain was unbearable again and he knew what would happen. He knew and he couldn't stop it.

Takeru whined, "What are you... doing?"

"It doesn't matter," Yamato told himself out loud, sucking on the boy's earlobe. He reached one hand around to Takeru's front and began massaging gently. Takeru gasped and Yamato growled in his ear, "I love that noise..."

Takeru made a series of light breaths as his brother gently pumped lower. He felt as if he had experienced something like this, because it made his stomach hurt, yet, he knew that something good was coming. He knew it made his brother happy. Then, he thought back and tried to remember, had they done before? Flashes vaguely dotted Takeru's vision. He remembered pain and fear and shame and pleasure and most of all, he remembered hating it.

"You're getting distracted," Yamato hissed, stroking faster. "Come for me and you'll feel better." Takeru began panting louder and Yamato found secure footing on the bank of the lake quickly so he could cover the boy's mouth when he screamed.

"This... isn't right, is it?" Takeru whispered.

"Takeru, does it feel good?" Yamato questioned, ignoring his brother. When Takeru didn't respond Yamato put one arm about the boy's neck and pulled tight. "_Answer me_."

Takeru felt a wave of pleasure over him and Yamato cuddled into his brother as that familiar feeling echoed into his palm. The boy trembled against his bare, wet skin, making Yamato more anxious. Takeru wanted to scream, but it only came out in a choke and his tiny hands grasping at Yamato's arm, leaving tiny cuts.

"Beautiful..." he breathed. "But you know what I really want, right?"

Takeru had an idea. "Pain..." he whispered.

"I didn't want to do this again, but we've been here longer than I thought," Yamato explained. "I guess I can't get my mind off of you here. When we leave, I won't have to do this anymore, I promise you."

"...like before?" Takeru questioned.

Yamato quietly pulled him from the lake so he wouldn't wake the Digimon and lead Takeru off, into the same clearing they had been in before. Takeru noticed his brother's cock was growing darker, thicker, like Yamato had made Takeru's moments earlier. The older brother grabbed Takeru close in a hug when they were finally out of earshot of the lake. "I saved this... it won't hurt so much."

Yamato forced something cold inside Takeru's ass, some kind of liquid. The smell reminded him of when they had to wash the dishes. Takeru heard a squishing noise and then another of Yamato's growls as he wrapped his arms around his little brother, pulling him close. Takeru could feel Yamato begging to find entrance and when he finally did, it was different than the last time. _Last time?_ Takeru shook his head. _This happened before... I remember...! It hurt..._ "Oniichan, stop, I don't want to hurt again."

_He remembers?_ Yamato hesitated. _Well, he won't remember after this. I'll make sure he doesn't. Because it won't happen again because we'll be out of here and things will go back to normal. I'll go home and never have to see him again. I'll never have to feel this way again...!_

"Please!" Takeru begged. Yamato took that as a _good_ sign and pushed through his anger into Takeru. The younger blonde let out a long whine as he was filled completely and he grasped the ground between his fingers. Yamato pressed his hands against Takeru's back- this time Jyou wouldn't be able to notice _anything_ –and thrusted deep into Takeru again. The younger brother was surprised, everything did move smoother and he _almost_ enjoyed it, but then Yamato moved harder and hit him deeper than the young boy could take. "Please, stop... Not so hard...!"

"Harder? Okay," Yamato breathed, lifting Takeru close to him again. Takeru leaned his head back onto Yamato's shoulder, studying his older brother's face. The confusion of the act itself was long forgotten, now replaced with the confusion of the distinct pain on his older brother's face as this entire thing happened. A smile but definite pain in his eyes. Takeru felt for his rapist in that moment, but then the pain surged as Yamato thrusted too deep once more.

"It's too deep..." the younger one whispered, losing himself to the oblivion his brother had trapped him in. Takeru watched worriedly, but he couldn't stop crying out, especially when tears escaped Yamato's eyes. Takeru was in two kinds of pain now. A helplessness for his brother and a helplessness for himself. "Oh, God-" Yamato gasped, holding his sibling tight as if they would never see each other again, "T-Takeru-!"

The boy knew he would be sore as his older brother's cock filled him a final time. The familiar wave of cum escaped out of him and Takeru felt a sense of ease that it was over. In fact, Yamato only took a moment to catch his breath and admire his younger brother's bruised form before he returned to the lake without a word. Takeru couldn't help but feel he had done something wrong. This... hadn't happened before, right? His mind was so clouded. Was this a dream? A nightmare? Takeru shivered in the cold and the fear, huddling his knees to his chest. "What do I do...? I can't... betray him."

Yamato was nearly running back to the lake and he was at a full on jog when he dove in headfirst. He had always been a good swimmer and he often swam at the beach to clear his mind. He felt the soothing cool of the water through his scalp and rolled onto his back, floating. He glanced at the sky, hoping all of his sins would find a way to wash themselves away. The high still going buried the sickness he was fighting back.

Then, he was splashed. Yamato lost his balance and caved inward onto himself, sinking and splattering back up with a cough. "W-What the Hell?"

Jyou laughed at him. "I see you and Takeru decided to bathe early. I would if I finished work early, too. So, where's the little guy anyway?"

Yamato coughed again, "He had to go pee or something. He'll catch up."

"You let him go out into the forest alone again?" Jyou snarled. "Yamato... it's the middle of the night."

"He didn't go far. I see him from here, actually," Yamato stated, crossing his arms.

"Where?" Jyou insisted. At first, he figured the blonde was lying, but then, around the bend of weeds came Takeru. He seemed withdrawn, but Jyou couldn't exactly tell what was so off about him. "Is he alright? I mean, that concussion may still be effecting him... Yamato, you REALLY shouldn't let him wander off like that."

"Sorry, God damn," Yamato remarked, swimming over to the shore. He joined Takeru, inspecting for any sign of what had occurred. Nothing too major, nothing that wouldn't wash itself away or be forgotten... "Hey, we're heading back!" Yamato called.

Jyou blinked, "But, you guys just got here..."

"Takeru isn't feeling well. What do you know?" Yamato breathed, ushering Takeru around the lakeshore to their clothes. He quickly dressed his brother and then himself before heading back to the boiler room to sleep.

Jyou started for the shore, Gomamon swimming up next to him. "Hey, there you are. You left early, too, didn't you?"

"Jyou..." Gomamon whispered.

"What's the bad news?" Jyou sighed.

* * *

><p><em>"I don't know what's going on, but Yamato and Takeru disappeared into the woods. A few minutes later, Yamato came diving back into the water. I heard screams, Jyou. Bad ones, like someone was hurting Takeru... I wanted to investigate, but... I wasn't sure..."<em>

Jyou shook the memory of the seal Digimon's words from his mind as he stirred the rice again. "Yamato... he wouldn't beat his brother like that. Sure, he punches Taichi a lot, but... God, with Taichi gone... Maybe Yamato didn't _love_ him... he just _used_ him..."

"Yo, Jyou," Yamato greeted, stepping inside the kitchen. He closed the screen door behind him. "I talked to Digitamamon. He said your debt is half paid now."

"...yeah," the blue haired boy replied. "So, I see you slept well..."

Yamato shrugged and stepped past Jyou, grabbing a pot and filling it with water. Jyou watched every glance, studying to see if any move betrayed him. Did anything Yamato was doing remind Jyou of his own father? Was Jyou's father a fair representation of the so-called 'wife beater' stereotype in the first place? Yamato didn't seem angry, but then, he had just taken a whole new share of frustrations out on Takeru... and worse, learned to hide them. He had already lied about them.

Jyou cringed as he remembered giving Takeru a quick look-over that morning before anyone awoke and seeing the deep bruises on the boy's back and sides. Jyou touched his own side absent-mindedly, thankful that he hadn't felt the pain in such a long time...

Through the entire day, Jyou couldn't bring himself to confront Yamato. The blonde had always been so loyal and thoughtful that the thought of him physically abusing his brother just seemed entirely out of the question. However, he had noticed the two finding more excuses to be alone and he was going to finally find out what was really going on.

Jyou closed his eyes that night and pretended to be asleep. The Digimon slept huddled in a corner, which was more unusual. Yamato had Takeru pulled close to him, the boy's head buried in his brother's chest. Jyou listened to their breathing, in particularly, Yamato's, as it became more hasty, more breathless. Jyou wasn't stupid and he knew _something_ was going on not feet from him.

"T..Takeru," Yamato whispered, barely audible.

Jyou turned away. What was going on he wanted to be a bad dream. But then, he heard the familiar sound of flesh on wood and heard Takeru whimper. Jyou felt tears run down his cheeks as he recalled coutnless nights of being beaten by his own father when studies didn't go as planned. _I can't let him hurt Takeru anymore... especially since... this is so much worse than I thought. This isn't the Yamato I know anymore. What the Hell did losing Taichi do to him?_

* * *

><p>When Jyou awoke the next morning, Yamato was already downstairs. Takeru stirred about the same and Jyou reached around for his glasses. That was when he heard a sudden crash from the corner and turned, noticing Takeru, huddled into the corner of the room, nearly burning his back and shoulder on the hot boiler.<p>

"Who are you?" he cried, shivering.

"Sorry?" Jyou had to ask again. He had to make sure he was hearing right.

"Who... are you?" Takeru repeated.

"It's me, Jyou. Old Jyou-san?" the other started.

"Takeru?" questioned Tokomon sleepily.

"What the Hell is that thing...?" the boy squeaked. "What's Takeru mean?"

Jyou removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "T-Takeru... that's your name. Takaishi, Takeru. That little guy there is your Digimon, Tokomon. Takeru... Oh, no, Takeru."

Jyou crawled across Yamato's part of the futon towards Takeru. "Don't. That's close enough," Takeru demanded.

Jyou stopped and sat. "Takeru... did Yamato hit you?"

"...what?" the boy breathed as if he had been told his dog died.

"Your brother, Yamato. Did he hit you last night? Do you remember anything?" Jyou insisted. "Did he..." Jyou struggled to say the words without remembering the sound of Yamato's bliss with it. "touch you?"

Gomamon watched the entire conversation go on and waddled over to Takeru, too. At first the boy was scared, but Gomamon nuzzled up to him. Takeru seemed to relax and he felt something was coming back to him, "I... I'm not sure... My mind is really... fuzzy."

"Takeru... I can't let him do this to you anymore. Next time he might kill you..." Jyou whispered, reaching out a hand to the boy's cheek. Takeru winced. "You're memory is so bad now... but it's... I don't see any in juries to your head..."

"Then why don't you go talk to him?" Takeru suggested, a little aggravated that this older kid was sitting here trying to lecture him instead of whoever had been causing this mess.

Jyou blinked, "W-Well, it's just you would probably put up a fight, so I expected I would need to convince you, Takeru."

"Jyou... Jyou-san," Takeru corrected himself, "Yamato is my brother?"

"Yes, he's supposed to be... but I guess he isn't anymore," Jyou sighed, standing in the tiny space. "Wait here. I'll tell Digitamamon you can't work this morning."

Takeru wasn't sure what a Digitamamon was, but he was sure that the boy and the seal were leaving him and there was some strange brother out there apparently hitting him. Oh, and the little white ball of fluff looking at him with scary rows of teeth and beady eyes. That thing still scared him. "Y-Yamato..." the name slipped from his lips, as if it were someone he would turn to when he was scared, but if this Jyou-san was right, then this Yamato was the source of Takeru's confusion and pain. Takeru held his head and looked over his body. For the first time that morning, he tried to move and realized he had sharp pains in his lower back and abdomen. When he sat up to find his clothes, he looked back down at the red stain on the floor. It scared him more than the white teeth pig, so he huddled over to the monster and cuddled close.

Jyou stormed down the stairs. He was about ready to kill Yamato at this point when Digitamamon stopped him with a viscious giggle, "Well, well, what has you so worked up this fine morning?"

Jyou glared, "None of your concern. Although, I do need to request Takeru stay in. He's not well."

"That's the third day in a row. I'm finding he isn't very useful to me. I just suppose I'll hand him over to Vandemon and be done with it."

"Vandemon?" Jyou questioned, but he didn't have time to wonder. "No, look, Takeru has a bad injury. He can barely remember things. He needs rest. I will stay up all night if need be to make up for the lost work."

"Oh, really?" Digitamamon sneered. "Well... This is the last night he can slack off. Next time, he's vampire bait..." the Digimon grumbled and waddled off. "Oh, and get in there and help that friend of yours. He's making my customers wait."

Jyou snorted and huffed into the kitchen. Yamato was in a daze, letting food burn. Jyou took a breath as he walked closer and noticed the cuts on the blonde's arm. "Ishida, we need to talk. _Now._"


	3. Atonement

Consign to Oblivion

A/N: I blame having way too much time on my hands due to overnight shifts for this insane fic. I wrote the entirety of it in something like twenty cummulative hours... Yamakeru fans, enjoy. Or be wierded out. Your call.

A/N 2: I wanted to personally thank all who read this. It was a side project I'm really proud of. I hope you'll all give my other works a chance, too!

Not sure still about the Taishirou spin off. If Angel wants to, maybe, but I'm not inclined to write it with so many other fics I have to finish / post.

Warnings: Yaoi, incest, graphic rape... the usual. Also, implied Jyoumato. Obvious one-sided Yamakeru. If you squint, maybe Taito, too.

* * *

><p>[Part 3: Atonement]<p>

"Ishida, we need to talk. _Now._"

"What's with the tone..." Yamato started, worried blue eyes shooting up at Jyou.

"Nothing... Nothing. Just wondering if you checked on Takeru." _I'll give you one more chance... because I love you. Tell me the truth!_

"He was still sleeping. I didn't want to wake him," Yamato replied, grabbing rice from the pantry. Jyou watched with annoyance. _How can you just do such idle things? Yamato. Come on. If there's a problem, tell me. Please, speak to me! There has to be a good reason for this... please, I know you're better than this. You know you're better than this!_

"He seemed worse than usual. He didn't know _me, _Yamato,_"_ Jyou stated, joining the blonde by stealing the rice from him and washing it.

"...you're serious?" Yamato said and Jyou noticed the other's hand tighten to a fist. _Yes, that's the Yamato I know. The one that __**cares**__._

"He didn't know who you were, either. Or himself. He seems completely lost, Yamato. What the Hell is going on with Takeru? This is more than a simple concussion. I think something else is going on."

_Jyou... then, you've pretty much figured out everything? I'm glad, actually..._ Yamato gave a weak smile when his Digimon's voice disrupted him.

"Yamato, tell him," Gabumon urged from the doorway to the dining hall.

The blonde turned to his Digimon with an utter look of terror and Jyou knew then, certainly, that whatever needed to come to light was going to come out.

"How should I know?" Yamato remarked. _I can't... I can't let those words pass my lips... then I'm just admitting I'm just like her. I'm a monster._

"He's your brother!" Jyou demanded, stomping his feet.

"Did you tell him about the mushrooms, Yamato?" Gabumon hissed.

"What?" Jyou asked. _What does food have to do with anything?!_ _Stupid Digimon and their appetites._

"Takeru ate part of one at the amusement park we were at before we came here. It must still be effecting him," Yamato said, taking the rice back gently and pouring it into the pot.

"Is that all?" Jyou insisted. He turned to Gabumon.

"If that's what Yamato says," the Digimon said, returning out to the dining hall.

Jyou wasn't convinced, but before he could start up again, Yamato pushed past him, smiling the entire way outside. Jyou watched him head back to the boiler room. He quickly followed. He was going to get answers _somehow_. He wasn't going to let the love of his life suffer by running away again.

* * *

><p>Yamato smiled, removing the remaining caps from Takeru's bag... then placing one after another in his mouth. <em>I can't bear to hurt you anymore, Takeru. Jyou knows now, I'm sure of it. So, there's no escaping my fate. At least I can go knowing that you won't remember it at all and can live a wonderful life without me...<em>

Takeru watched this stranger in confusion. He had assumed it was Yamato, his brother. He looked enough like himself that they could be related. However, what brother didn't even say hello? Takeru watched the entire act curiously, even asking, "Um... what are you doing?" Despite his memory loss, Takeru felt his stomach knot.

Jyou opened the door with a sigh and closed it behind him. He had been staring at the floor and when he looked up, he could see Yamato waiting across the room. "Just tell me the truth."

"...what do you want to know?" the blonde asked. He didn't feel anything yet, but it would come. He laid back against the wall, staring into Takeru's large blue eyes, trying to hold back tears.

"All of it," Jyou demanded. "Takeru... he said you made him forget things. What did you do that you had to make him forget, or should I ask? I mean, if you're angry, don't take out your punches on him, Yamato. I'm actually used to that sort of thing..."

"So innocent," Yamato said with venom on his tongue and glancing to Takeru, "You give me too much credit."

"Spit it out already," Jyou breathed, studying the bruises and cuts on Takeru's skin from afar. "How could you do anything worse to him?"

"I... raped him," Yamato stated quickly, coldly. He said this to Jyou's face, hopefully so Takeru wouldn't hear.

"You... what?" Jyou whispered, his breath leaving him. He took a careful step forward as pieces fell together. He had suspected that, sure, but to actually hear this beautiful boy say such a thing...

"I _raped_ him," Yamato spat, only loud enough Jyou could hear. "Just like my mother abused me."

Jyou felt sick and for a second. Some hidden anger in him made him lose it and he threw his arms out at the friend in front of him and squeezed tight. Yamato didn't struggle at first, wondering which would kill him faster: Jyou or the drugs?

"Jyou-" Yamato said, trying to pry the other's hands from his throat. "Jyou, listen-" he started through choking gasps.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Jyou breathed through tears and anger, squeezing so tight, Yamato couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. "You're hurting him... just how Natsuko hurt you..." Jyou let go, sending the other sputtering and gasping for a long while. Jyou had put the pieces together before his mind could realize it. "...you're disgusting."

"Stop," Takeru pleaded. "Please... don't fight."

Jyou respected the lost boy's wishes and let go. His hands were getting sore anyway. Yamato took a second to gasp for breath and as he did so, he felt more of him give itself over to oblivion.

_The same words... my father said to her..._"...think I haven't always known that?" Yamato smiled, staring emptily at his feet.

"...I thought you cared about Takeru. He is your little brother and you owe it to him not to put him through the pain you went through! This is not the you I know. Yamato wouldn't give up like this."

Takeru could hear the conversation- well, argument? -but that certainly didn't mean he understood it. All he knew was that he felt horrible for some reason. "Oniichan?" he squeaked, not sure why.

"I couldn't stop it at first- it was an accident!" the blonde insisted with a deranged smile. Tears were settling in his lashes, making the blue of his eyes darken.

"Accident?!" Jyou barked, nearly losing his glasses.

"Takeru ate a piece of this weird mushroom... he woke up in the middle of the night, delirious, and he got a little too close... I-I had controlled myself before that. It just... happened!" Yamato cried, slumping to the floor on his side. He clutched his body close to himself, "I hate myself and every day I wish I was dead for what I've done... but that feeling always comes back."

Takeru was covering his ears. He remembered he didn't like fighting at least and refused to listen to any of it. He and Tokomon crawled back to his corner and hid under the blankets, for good measure. This deafened some of the terror going on before them.

"Yamato... you're... sick..." Jyou whispered. Yamato began sobbing in hiccups, barely able to breathe and Jyou sat next to him, patting his back. "You can get help, you know."

"Help?" the blonde breathed, then hissed: "For wanting to have sex with my brother?"

Jyou blinked, "Is that how you see it? Not...?"

"What?" Yamato whispered.

"...having sex with a child..." Jyou muttered quickly.

"...no, I never thought of it like that. Takeru's Takeru... and I hurt him. I raped him. I drugged him. What kind of big brother am I?" Yamato laughed. "There's no help for someone wicked like me."

Jyou eyed the blonde, "Let me see you." He grabbed the blonde's chin, noting the dilated pupils. He touched Yamato's wrist. A weakened pulse, too. "What did you do?!" Jyou demanded, noticing the empty bag a few feet away.

"...I'm going to _forget_," Yamato smiled, huddling into Jyou's chest. "I'm going to forget my family, my past, my little brother, Gabumon, this place... forever..."

"Yamato-kun, you would even forget me...?" Jyou said, pulling the blonde close to him. He started to pry open the blonde's lips and induce vomiting, but Yamato pushed his hand away. They struggled a second, "Here, we have to get it out of your system-"

Yamato laughed again and pushed Jyou's hand away a final time, "No. It's... too late..."

The blonde passed out against him, falling like a petal from a flower and resting gently in the water that was Jyou's chest.

"Yamato?" Jyou asked, wiping tears from his widening eyes and gently rapping against the blonde's cheek. "Yamato!"

Yamato convulsed in Jyou's arms briefly. Jyou held him steady until it passed, then listened to the shallow breathing. _He's still alive-!_ He clutched his love into his arms, "Takeru! Go downstairs and get Gabumon! Please!"

Takeru poked his head out, shaking. "Gabu... mon..."

"Yes, just call his name. He'll come to you," Jyou said. "Hurry."

Tokomon lead Takeru outside and down the steps and as the steps faded, Jyou turned back to the near dead body in his arms and squeezed tight.

He cried into the spikes of Yamato's hair. He had hated them because not only were they just ridiculous, but every time Jyou got close to Yamato, those bangs would find their way past his glasses and into Jyou's eyes, stabbing him. Crying at the thought, he sniffled back tears. "Everything will be fine. I'll make sure you get through this. I promise you. You're not a monster, Yamato. You're a beautiful human being... and when you wake up, I'll prove it to you... Just hang in there."

* * *

><p>"So, he doesn't remember anything?" Taichi questioned.<p>

"Luckily, I've deduced that this fungus mostly effects emotional memories. Things like tying his shoes should still come easily. It's really very fascinating."

"I still don't understand how it happened," Taichi sighed. "Or how long it will last..."

"For a Digimon it seems a loss of all memories is immentent. But as far as humans, it seems it takes a more interesting path of destruction," Koushiro contemplated, wishing there was something they could do. His friend was now like a lifeless doll around them.

Jyou sighed, holding Yamato's hand in his. It wasn't unlike walking with a ghost. They had escaped Digitamamon after Taichi and Koushiro had found them. Jyou explained that Yamato fell into a deep depression and taken the mushrooms, but he didn't mention Yamato's abuse, the rapes. Takeru didn't remember them, anyway. Hell, he barely remembered his brother even still. But the memories would come back, as Koushiro had determined. At least, in Takeru's case. With Yamato... only time would tell. Jyou wondered if things really were better this way.

"Maybe..." Takeru said, speaking up for the first time during the entire tale, "...Oniichan will be himself again and he can explain things better..."

Jyou squeezed Takeru's hand, holding Yamato's in the other. "Yeah, and until then, I'll take care of you, okay?"

Takeru nodded. "Okay, Niisan."


End file.
